


The Boy in the Bathroom

by TheTwoPlayerGays



Series: Tumblr Prompts [3]
Category: Be More Chill, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (they're not fun), Angst, BUT HES OK, I don't have to heart to kill my baby, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, based off a prompt, in bathrooms, obvs, send me prompts I'm lonely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 09:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTwoPlayerGays/pseuds/TheTwoPlayerGays
Summary: Would the people knocking, making his life a living hell, care if he never opened the door? Would they give up trying and forget all about the boy in the bathroom? The boy with the red hoodie who used to be part of a perfect pair, used to have someone worth living for...No. They wouldn't. They wouldn't even remember there was a boy in the bathroom.





	The Boy in the Bathroom

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

That's all Michael could hear. The rhythm echoed in his brain as he crouched by the toilet with tears streaming down his face. How long has he been in there? A few minutes? An hour? He didn't care. The knocking had been persistent and refused to cease, it had started to bury into his skull. The same four beats every minute or so:

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Michael's face had gone numb from all the tears he had shed that night. He might have fallen asleep a couple of times or maybe just blacked out of want to be anywhere but there, sitting in the bathroom at one of the biggest parties of the year. Why did he even come? He knew he hated parties, the dancing, the drinks and the drunks. It wasn't Michael's style at all. His style was being in his basement, a warm and comforting environment, getting high and playing video games with Jeremy. 

Jeremy.

That's why he was here. He was here because of Jeremy. His former best friend. Someone who he trusted with his life had left him here, in the bathroom, crying till dawn. And no Squip had made him to do so. It was of his own free fucking will. 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 

He didn't want to be here. He didn't need to be here anymore. Jeremy was gone, forever. The Squip had completely changed him and there was nothing Michael would do to save him. He had already tried, and he failed. He failed to save him best friend. His former best friend. Someone who he trusted with his life.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

They seemed louder than before, even though Michael knew they weren't. The room was spinning, even though Michael knew it wasn't. The delusions were there and they were there to stay. He was trapped, suffocating in this small room with nothing but a broken heart and a bathtub to crawl inside and hide from the rest of the world. That's all Michael wanted to do, hide. Hide from everyone who had hurt him. Hide from everyone who thought they knew him. Hide from everyone who did know him. Hide from Jeremy. His former best friend, someone who he trusted his life with. 

What a load of bullshit. He couldn't trust his life with anyone, he wouldn't dare. Michael had learnt his lesson. He damn well knew he couldn't trust anyone in this world anymore. He'd rather die.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 

There had to be something in there. Something to stop the sounds, to stop the pain. To stop anyone from breaking him ever again, not that anyone would want to anyway. Jeremy was gone. The only person he had bothered to care about had left him. His mother had never given him the time of day so why should he? Why should he care what they would think or say or do if he just disappeared, never to be seen again. Would they even care? 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 

Would the people knocking, making his life a living hell, care if he never opened the door? Would they give up trying and forget all about the boy in the bathroom? The boy with the red hoodie who used to be part of a perfect pair, used to have someone worth living for...

No. They wouldn't. They wouldn't even remember there was a boy in the bathroom.

The sounds were gone now, but only because he had learnt to block them out. His surroundings had gotten foggy, not that that mattered. Soon there wouldn't be any surroundings at all... nothing worth noticing, nothing worth remembering...

Michael didn't hear the door being barged open. He didn't see the boy standing over him, tears streaming down his face as he shouted his name. He didn't hear the apologies, the pleases coming from the boy. He just saw darkness, he just heard silence.

\-------

When Michael opened his eyes, he couldn't really see anything. It was all white and blurry and cold. He was... really cold. And weak too. Michael wasn't used to that, living off a diet of Mountain Dew will do that to you. But he had woken up with a sense of guilt - regret - sorrow. He didn't remember anything to be sorry for... Though he did remember sounds, maybe a rhythm? Nothing specific came to mind.

It wasn't until he tried to sit up properly that he realised his entire body was behind held captive by someone hugging him tightly, soaking whatever he was wearing. The boy was speaking to him... well, trying to. His speech was continuous, he wasn't even stopping to take breaths. 

Michael caught a few words from the long winding speech we was being given. Words like "bathroom.... ambulance.... Squip.... drunk.... sorry." That last one was being repeated a lot, Michael had lost count of how many times Jeremy had said it.

Jeremy. That's who it was. It was Jeremy sitting by the bed, hugging him and securing him to the mattress while he rambled and cried. Michael couldn't think of a reason why his best friend was in such a state, so he just complied and rubbed his head in support trying to calm him down. When Jeremy finally looked up at Michael, he noticed his face was full relief, yet the guilt still remained. But Michael just smiled at the sight, encasing Jeremy in a hug of his own - one that lasted a very long time. How long did they stay like that? A few minutes? An hour?

Michael began to cry. He didn't care.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt on tumblr - "I'd rather die"
> 
> (Also I got a prompt holy shit thank you) 
> 
> Tumblr - TheTwoPlayerGays


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